under new management

when i was in high school
a steak house in mount carmel
called
the red river cattle company
closed up shop
and much to the chagrin
of the local bible thumpers
became a strip joint called deja vu

the same place you got to eat free
if you could shove 80 ounces of steak down
your gullet
get your picture hung green on their wall of shame and everything
now specialized in a cheaper meat
spinning around in clear heels on a pole

oh the baptists and harper valley pta lot
were fuckin’ hot
all of clermont county’s husbands were coming home late for supper
so they started gunning for the place
until the titty bar was stripped
of its liquor license

but with no gin in the place
they could now go full frontal
and nobody seemed to mind they were drinking watery pepsi and staring at throbbing twat

i mean this place had it all
biker chic
a smoking monkey
even a girl with one arm

me and my girlfriend and her husband
stumbled in there drunk for a lap dance
on my 25th birthday
he was so worked up
as we were leaving
he hit a light pole in the parking lot

i heard today the place got bought
they’re gonna turn it into a megachurch

in keeping with the theme of sacrificial lambs

it’s funny because the devout
will still go there to buy a fantasy

palpable desperation no less thick

they’ll just be shoving their ones
into an offering plate

instead of some unfortunate woman’s thong