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Jazz Music poetry Short Stories Uncategorized Urban Legends writing

hunt and peck

oh god
how i wish i had taken typing in high school
but the word processing and typing classes
were for the pregnant girls whose medusa fried hair
smelled like rave hairspray and marlboro reds

but no
i was too busy accumulating more important credits to graduate early
from glen este high school
and to this day i still don’t give a damn
who glen este was

i had to get away
from the bullying
more bullying
and did i mention bullying

the place was a varsity lettered lord of the flies reenactment
and nobody had the conch

the history teaching goomba soccer coach
with the 40 weight greasy slicked back hair
who was screwing the whole team
promising them scholarships to the coveted xavier university

the choir director who only gave the solos to his pets

and my mother who had decided to start having church services
in the living room

yeah i backed a moving truck up to the house at age 16
better that than climbing a clock tower armed

so here i am
20 years later
the queen of hunt and peck
i’m serious
i have the shit down to a fine art
my pointed index fingers flying
cigar clenched in my teeth
spectacles resting just above the tip of my nose

the only thing i’m missing is a fedora
with a little press card tucked into the brim

it’s really okay
my crappy typing will stand for all time
an emblem
of my daring escape

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