having twin teenagers with autism
is and will be
the greatest challenge of my life
if i survive this
i can whip anything

see
there are days when it’s hard to tell
who is screaming at you
the autism
or the 18 year old asshole

their teeth come out
bile and vomit spray the walls
over being asked to pick up their dirty socks

it is then i remember there is a tall bridge
perfect for giving up
right down the road from my house

and i think of what would happen
in my horrid wake
the abusive father the only one left
to care for them
the equivalent of throwing them to the wolves
romulus and remus made flesh

death is just another luxury a single mother can’t afford

besides
not loving them enough to stay alive…
that isn’t me

that’s what my father would do